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| hey yall...go here: http://www.xanga.com/gifts_love_praise
I told you I would keep everything the same. 
mucho amor para sus! | | |
| Mrs. Gilliam mentioned a game called "six degrees". I know it's usually supposed to be about Kevin Bacon, but isn't it amazing to know that you're basically only SIX PEOPLE away from knowing everyone in the world? imagine how many ministry opportunities that is! well, I can get to my love in actually one person, so I'm not too worried about that, but everyone else..THAT IS SO COOL!
anyway..last night I felt the emptiest and most alone I have ever felt in my life. I knew that I needed to pray, and so I did. I cried. a lot. I yelled at God and I yelled at myself and I finally handed everything over to him. that's right...I, for once, don't have control. i believe in my prayer I mentioned "a God-shaped void in my soul and a Philip-shaped void in my heart." I think that hit both God and myself hard on the head. I don't know, I never thought of it like that before, but it just came to me last night. I trust that God completely knows how I feel about that now, and I trust that he's going to provide for me. he took away my fear, added some love and need, and gave me a little push out the door. aside from God himself, this is everything I've ever needed and wanted, and nothing will ever fit into that void in my heart..it was shaped just perfectly for Philip, just like he was shaped for perfectly for me and for God. I feel complete peace about it now...it's like, God FINALLY gets ALL of it, and he's working harder to help me. before, my feelings were chaos and jumbled and mixed, but now, there's a calm that I can't explain or comprehend, like everything will work out how it's supposed to, and hell be mine soon. soooooon. I know that it's going to work out how I want it to and need it to, so I'm just going to leave it all with God, until it's time for me to do my part, which is really soon, I can feel it. so for now, peace out. | | |
| okay, I am really scared. I've honestly never been this scared in my life. I think my worst fear is coming true, and I'm starting to let my faith slip away and try to take this from God and put it back in my hands...I know I should leave it with him, because he's the only one that can make this work the way it's supposed to, but I'm really really scared and I don't know what to do anymore. I can't help but feel like everything I've ever wanted and needed is about to be pulled out of my reach. how can I survive like that? maybe this is the push I needed....if you got any connections to any of the Broome brothers, you're gonna have to help me. My chickenness (haha Sara..) is finally leaving because I'm too scared to keep going on like I am. I'm going to do something!
PS: http://www.myspace.com/fridaynightfusion | | |
| wow..three in one day.
I'm thinking I need a new xanga. I'll make everything look the same and blahblahblah, but I really need a more meaningful name. any suggestions? right now, I'm leaning toward romans837, but I need some other ideas too... | | |
| When my heart was so broken that I could not pray, when love wasn't easy to see, someone was there, somebody cared, somebody prayed for me.
Somebody went to the throne of Heaven, somebody lifted my name, bringing me into his holy presence, saying what I could not say; somebody showed me the face of his mercy when darkness was all I could see, somebody pleaded the blood of Jesus, sombody prayed for me.
When the future looked hopeless and I'd given up, when I had lost sight of my dreams, somebody near dried ev'ry tear, somebody prayed for me.
Somebody went to the throne of Heaven, somebody lifted my name, bringing me into his holy presence, saying what I could not say; somebody showed me the face of his mercy when darkness was all I could see, somebody pleaded the blood of Jesus, sombody prayed for me.
this song=me right now...except instead of someone actually praying for me, I need prayer. | | |
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